A programmer's wife asks him to pick up a loaf of bread and, if they have eggs, get a dozen.
The programmer comes home with a dozen loaves of bread.
Why are programmers bad at doing laundry?
They throw all their dirty clothes on the heap.
What did the programmer say to the architect chick?
Wanna come back to my homepage and check out my floor plan?
Why all Pascal programmers ask to live in Atlantis?
Because it is below C level.
Why was the computer programmer single?
Because he couldn't commit.