Reenacting the Civil War seems like a lot of work.
I'd much rather reenact the Cola War from my couch. First is the battle of Whiskey.
Guys that work at animal shelters
get all the bitches.
What do you call fireworks that don't work?
Fireunemployed.
What fundamental force compels physicists to go to work on Mondays?
The week force.
*calls boss* Me: I can't come to work.
Boss: Why not? Me: Gotham city needs me. Boss: ...You're not Batman. Me: Oh, yes, yes, exaaaactly.