We got a notice at work that a coyote had been spotted
on the fitness trail, and I was, like, "Good for him."
"I used to work at a fire hydrant factory." "You couldn't
park anywhere *near* the place!" -Steven Wright
Why does the lawyer hate doing pro-bono work?
Because he fucking hates U2.
Frequently Asked Questions: 1) You did what?
3) How dare you? 53) Don't you know how numbering lists works?
I know dream catchers don't work because I've never seen
one in a car worth more than two thousand dollars.