I always knew that I could never be a lawyer
because of my inability to pass a bar.
DROWNING LAWYER Q: How do you stop a lawyer from drowning?
A: Shoot him before he hits the water.
A lawyer with insomnia consulted her doctor.
"Which side is it best to lie on?" she asked. "The side that pays your fee" replied the doctor.
How much did the lawyer charge the prostitute to represent her in court?
Nothing, he did her PRO BONER
Q.
How can you tell if someone is half Catholic and half Jewish? A. When he goes to confession he takes a lawyer with him.