[murder trial] LAWYER: So you unplugged your wife's life support for five minutes?
COMPUTER TECH: Sometimes that works.
God: why don't we text anymore?
Me: you know why God: I can't just give everyone a Sega whenever they ask. That's not how it works Me: k
Dress for the job you want, not the job you have.
I came to work naked. I want to be a porn star. Now I'm just unemployed.
Why does the lawyer hate doing pro-bono work?
Because he fucking hates U2.
Here's how pessimism works.
It never works.