Friend: What are you gonna be for halloween?
Me: Drunk!
I want to be so famous...
That I can just go as myself for Halloween.
What do you call a vampire's favorite fruit?
A blood orange.
My friend asked me for some inspiration for a Halloween costume.
Apparently "The Emperor's New Clothes" was a bad idea.
I was going to go as a worthless piece of garbage for Halloween...
...but then I realized I go as that every day of the year.