What do Ted Cruz and Donald Trump's dad have in common?
They both waited too long to pull out.
Finding Nemo 3: Nemo's mom isn't dead.
Nemo's dad kidnapped Nemo to avoid a custody dispute. Nemo's mom finds them. It's a revenge tale.
How do you know your sister is on her period?
When your dads dick tastes like shit.
When my dad caught me smoking a cigarette he took me out to
the shed and forced me to teach him how to be hella cool.
Me: You should be nicer to me.
You'll never have another dad. 5-year-old: Don't be so sure. Mom is pretty.