The lottery gives you about a 1 in 200 million chance you won't be going to work tomorrow.
Alcohol will give you a 1 in 5. #PowerballFever
They hired another Russian guy at my work He seems to think
everything that Ukrainian guy tells him is so obvious.
Using a macbook is like making love to a woman There are so
many things to do with your fingers, but none of them work.
A gambling addict begins his 5th stretch of therapy...
"It failed 4 times in a row, so it's bound to work this time."
My lift to work was late to arrive at the train station, so I killed the driver...
...I thought it was fair but some said it was a loco-motive