[typing] Me: Is it DISCREET or DISCRETE?
Wife: 2nd. Me: Is "polyamorous" hyphenated? Wife: No. Why? Me: It's for work. When's your flight?
What gets longer when pulled, fits between breasts, inserts neatly in a hole, and works best when jerked?
A Seatbelt!
Hamburger Helper only works if the hamburger
is ready to accept that it needs help.
How do you starve a black guy?
Put his food stamps in his work boots
A man calls in to work sick on a Friday His boss asks him, "Why what's wrong with you?" He replies, "its my eyes boss...
I just can't see my ass coming in to work today."