Marriage equality AND marijuana laws passed?
Now we know what Leviticus really meant by "A man who layeth with another man must be stoned."
Why did the wife buy her husband a watch?
Because she wanted to see time fly.
What do you call a husband who remembers anniversaries?
A unicorn.
My parents decided the key to a successful marriage is going out to a fancy restaurant twice a week.
My dad goes out Mondays and my mom goes out Fridays.
If it wasn't for the internet, I would think "12 Years A Slave" was a
movie about a guy exaggerating about the first 3 weeks of marriage.