Keep your daughters away from Olympic Track
and Field events: Doctor's orders.
Patient: Doctor you must help me.
I'm under such a lot of stress I keep losing my temper with people. Doctor: Tell me about your problem. Patient: I JUST DID DIDN'T I YOU STUPID BASTARD!!!
I've been using medical marijuana for my bladder issues...
My doctor told me to piss or get off the pot.
Why did the doctor become a chef?
Because he wanted to practice his knife skills.
Doctor, how long do I have left to live?
- Ten. - Ten what? - Nine.