What kind of present did the armless boy get for Christmas?
Gloves. Jk he hasn't opened it yet!!
What does a Jew do to make them love Christmas?
Install a parking meter on the roof.
Christmas cards are how old people say, "Hey,
you thought I was dead, but I'm not!"
What do a cannibal's dinner and a christmas treat have in common?
They're both a pan o' Tony.
Why is getting Christmas presents for your kids just like a day at the office?
You do all the work and the fat guy in the suit gets all the credit.