I told my boss I couldn't come into work because my anal glaucoma was acting up.
I just couldn't see my ass there.
What do you call a nut that eats other nuts?
A pecan-nibal! Made this up at work while hungry.
I need some white people jokes.
I was talking with some guys at work and came to find that we are all disappointed at the lack of white people joke we know, so let hear what you've got.
Edison didn't fail at making a lightbulb, he found 10,000 ways that don't work.
Number 7,511 will shock you!
Never underestimate the power of a hug.
Or a slap upside the head. Whatever works.