Why do programmers produce more garbage than others ?
Because they (some of them) don't have a garbage collector.
What did the hungry computer programmer say?
All I want is one byte. Hell, I'll even take a nibble.
How do programmers get a sixpack?
int[][] abs = new int[2][3]
Why do computer programmers confuse Christmas with Halloween?
Because Dec 25 = Oct 31
How many computer programmers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Oh, wait. That's a hardware problem. [source](http://nerdfighteria.info/video/54/Zrnd63DAH8o)