Families that do Christmas card photo shoots months before Christmas
have the organizational skills of high-level Nazis.
What kind of present did the armless boy get for Christmas?
Gloves. Jk he hasn't opened it yet!!
My girlfriend doesn't know this, but I put a dollar in an envelope every time we have sex.
That's all I'm spending on her for Christmas. So far, she's only getting a McChicken.
What did the testicle say to the other testicle?
"Between you and me, I think something's up." I'm slightly tipsy, this is probably a terrible joke. Merry Christmas!
The greatest thing about Christmas is how it teaches kids
to be selfish little shits on someone else's birthday.