My neighbor started mowing his yard at 6am so I opened all my windows
and vacuumed because I don't understand how revenge works.
*trains 1 million soldier ants*
*gets carried to work*
Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a solar powered calculator?
A: The blonde works in the dark!
Typical Liberal media: the Chilean miners have had 69 PAID days off work with their mates & now they're "heroes".
#GetBackToWork
Why did the scarecrow get promoted?
He was outstanding in his field.