Apple just released a brand new programming language, *Swift*.
Job recruiters everywhere immediately started posting ads for Swift programmers with 5 years of experience.
How many C++ programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
"You're still thinking procedurally! A properly designed light bulb object would inherit a change method from a generic light bulb class!"
How many programmers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
None. We don't address hardware issues.
What's a computer's favorite snack?
Microchips.
Why do programmers drink coffee so much?
So they aren't lying when they say they like Java.