How many frames per second does it take to screw in a light bulb?
30 because that's peasants work.
What do you call a panda who's legs don't work?
Pandapalegic
What's the best way to watch a fly fishing tournament?
Live stream.
Heard on Haight St.
the other day: Why didnt the lifeguard save the drowning hippie? Cause he was just too far out, man. Edit: I work on Haight St. This was in exchange for one cigarette.
Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a solar powered calculator?
A: The blonde works in the dark!