They say choose a major you love and you'll never work a day in your life...
because that field probably isn't hiring.
If you love someone, let them know often.
Because you might not be able to say it again. Also, same thing works for people you f*cking hate
Why were Democrats in the lead early on?
Republicans weren't off of work yet.
Heading to Chinatown after work...
I heard it's Erection Day.
I saw my ex girlfriend broken down with two flat tires this morning which made me late for work...
Nine times I drove past before she noticed me laughing at her.