Why was Santa sacked two days before Christmas?
Elf and safety
Just got a belly piercing.
It's a mistletoe, I don't want any confusion on where I want your lips this Christmas.
What do gnomes fear most about Christmas?
They're afraid Father Christmas will give them the sack!
If you are considering decorating your car for
Christmas, please seek immediate mental help.
Picked up our Christmas tree from the lot today AND my wife hasn't shaved in 3 weeks.
Noble fir in the streets. Noble fur in the sheets.