If you blow out the kid's Birthday candles at enough
parties, people will just stop inviting you to them.
If we could harness the fake enthusiasm put towards wishing people
a happy birthday on Facebook, we could power half the planet.
Two things I will never grasp in life: 1.
What to write in birthday cards. 2. What to do when people are singing happy birthday to me.
I got a nice Rolex from the lesbian couple next door after they asked me what I wanted for my birthday.
It's a cool gift and all, but I think they misunderstood me when I told them I wanna watch.
Why do hockey players always make terrible birthday cakes?
Because icing is not allowed.