Patient: Doctor I get the feeling that people don't give a hoot about anything I say.
Psychiatrist: So?
Yesterday my doctor told me I needed to stop masturbating.
I asked, "Why is that, doc?" He replied, "I'm trying to examine you."
Doctor: Nurse, how is that little girl doing who swallowed ten quarters last night?
Nurse: No change yet.
My doctor just told me I'm suffering from paranoia.
Well he didn't actually say that, but I could tell it was what he was thinking.
I didn't think my doctor could fix my bowed legs.
I stand corrected.