What's the difference between a camera and a foot?
A camera has photos and a foot has five toes. (Told to me by a 9 year old child I work with)
If I've learned one thing from twitter, it's how to get a ton
of work done in an hour after wasting 80% of my day tweeting.
wife: How was work?
[flashback to me being asked to leave the meeting because I couldn't stop giggling after someone said "abreast"] me:Good
A gun is like a coupon
that works anywhere
What do you call fireworks that don't work?
Fireunemployed.