Mum why am i getting my Christmas present in August?
Because its cheaper than chemo.
Stevie Wonder got a cheesegrater for Christmas.
He said it was the most violent book he's ever read.
My ex got engaged at Christmas but apparently responding to the news with
"LOL" is "a representation of everything that is wrong with me."
What is the difference between the Christmas alphabet and the ordinary alphabet?
The Christmas alphabet has NO EL.
What did Hitler dream of during the holidays?
A WHITE Christmas!