I bought a new lock for my bedroom door Wound
up getting half off when it didn't work.
Nobody works harder than a drunk person
trying to carefully whisper a secret.
I was late to work because I was having car trouble.
And by car trouble I mean I was sleeping and not driving the car.
Of course my days are numbered..
That's how calendars work.
Guerrilla Glue It only works
when you don't look at it.