How many computer programmers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Oh, wait. That's a hardware problem. [source](http://nerdfighteria.info/video/54/Zrnd63DAH8o)
What's a programmer's favorite hangout place?
The Foo Bar.
How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
None. That's a hardware problem.
What do you call a bug that won't go away?
A feature.
The programmer to his son: "Here I brought you a new basketball."
"Thank you daddy but where is the user's guide?"