Little Johnny When I was a boy, I prayed, and prayed, for a bike but never got one.
Then I realized that God don't work that way. So I stole a bike, then asked for forgiveness.
My last days.
If I ever end up on life support unplug me. Then plug me back in again and see if that works. REBOOT me baby!
A woman's work is never done.
That's why they get paid less. (Source: Frankie Boyle)
I've been going through a really rough period at work this week
It's my own fault for swapping my tampax for sand paper.
Off to work...
A guy shows up late for work. The boss yells, You should've been here at 8.30!' He replies. Why? What happened at 8.30?'