Local news is like Facebook.
You get stories you don't care about, some jerk talks about weather and it all ends with pictures of animals doing funny stuff.
Why don't cats play poker in the jungle?
Too many cheetahs.
A man walks into a zoo The only animal in the entire zoo is a dog.
It's a shitzhu.
One of my favourite things is Pork Souvlaki on a Pita But it's
hard to get the animal rights activists to stay still
"What would be your main strength?" Well, I can communicate with animals...
"Wow, impressive. Any weaknesses?" They can't understand me.