Why did the husband buy his wife a scale?
Because he wanted to weigh his options.
Wait, 12 years a slave
isn't about marriage?
What do you call a husband who does the dishes?
A rare species.
You want to know what marriage is like?
Think of a prison... Now don't change anything.
After two divorces, I think I've found the key to a successful marriage.
Don't marry a c*nt.