"Honey, don't try to feed ice cream to the Christmas
tree," is a thing I literally just said.
Christmas breakup: play Lexus commercial theme, when they run outside
have all their crap packed for them on your driveway, lock the door.
What do you get if you cross a snowman and a dog?
Frostbite.
I wanted a sweater for Christmas...
But instead I got a screamer and a moaner
This year I've decided I'm going to exercise religiously...
That means I'm going to work out on Easter and Christmas and I'm done.