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Asshole Jokes

641 jokes · Page 1 of 33

Jokes / Asshole Jokes

What Are Asshole Jokes?

Asshole Jokes are a fun way to bring laughter to any moment. Whether you need something to share with friends, break the ice at a gathering, or simply enjoy a good laugh, our collection of asshole jokes is here for you. Browse through the jokes below and find the ones that make you smile.

Every joke on this page is free to read and easy to share. Click the copy button on any joke to copy it instantly to your clipboard. Paste it into a message, post, or conversation and spread the laughter.

#1
What does a nine-volt battery and a woman's asshole have in common?
Eventually, you're going to put your tongue on both.
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#2
What's the difference between a gay man and a Christian man?
One fucks an asshole, the other is a fuckin' asshole.
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#3
Nurse finds a rectal thermometer in her pocket..., Thinks to herself.
"Well, some asshole's got my pen." Another you say? What's the difference between rectal and oral thermometers. Taste.
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#4
Where assholes go to die The
cheap toilet paper section.
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#5
fart liner "Did you hear what that asshole
said?" "No, What?" "Oh Shit!"
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#6
Why don't little girls fart?
They don't get assholes until they're married! (My favorite joke to tell to un-piss off a pissed off woman after I've pissed her off with a woman joke)
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#7
Here's your social security card.
It's paper & has to last you forever. Don't laminate it. Good luck asshole.
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#8
What's the difference between a BMW and a pair of Dockers?
You can only fit one asshole in a pair of Dockers.
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#9
Why is ship tapered Why is shit tapered?
So you're asshole doesn't slam shut. (I was watching my dog take a dump yesterday and this old joke came to mind)
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#10
I'm not a proctologist ...
... but I know an asshole when I see one.
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#11
Yea, go ahead and destroy that spider's web.
It's not like he spent a week making it so he can kill bugs that are in your house. Asshole.
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#12
What does a woman's asshole do while having an orgasm?
He's usually at home with the kids.
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#13
Pedophiles...
... Are fucking immature assholes.
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#14
It's so weird and coincidental that everyone who likes me is cool
and smart and everyone who doesn't is an egomaniacal asshole.
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#15
What's BROWN and making California a miserable place to live?
California Governor Jerry BROWN you racist asshole!
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#16
"The most comfortable place to put your elbows at dinner is on the table,
so I'm gonna go ahead and make that bad manners." -Some asshole
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#17
What do you get when you cross a poodle with an elephant?
A dead poodle with an asshole of diameter 40cm.
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#18
I hope there's a special place in Hell for me.
I'd hate to be lumped in with all those other assholes.
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#19
Life is like toilet paper...
You're either on a roll or taking shit from some asshole.
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#20
Why don't bats sleep outside?
You ever deal with a sunburned asshole?
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❓ Frequently Asked Questions

What are the best Asshole Jokes?
Our collection features 641 Asshole Jokes. Browse the list above and find the ones that make you laugh the most.
Are Asshole Jokes suitable for everyone?
Most Asshole Jokes on our site are appropriate for general audiences. We clearly label any content meant for adults, so you can browse safely.
Can I copy and share Asshole Jokes?
Yes! Every joke has a Copy button. Click it once and the full joke is copied to your clipboard. You can then paste it anywhere you like.
How many Asshole Jokes are available?
We currently have 641 Asshole Jokes in our collection. We add new ones regularly, so check back often.
Why do people enjoy Asshole Jokes?
Asshole Jokes are loved because they are easy to remember, fun to share, and work well in almost any social setting.

Why People Enjoy Asshole Jokes

Everyone enjoys a good laugh, and asshole jokes deliver exactly that. They are easy to remember, fun to share, and work in almost any setting. Whether you are at a party, at work, or chatting online, a well-timed joke from this category always gets a great reaction.

Another reason people love asshole jokes is their simplicity. You do not need a long setup or a complicated punchline. A short, clever joke is often all it takes to turn an ordinary moment into a memorable one. That is why these jokes remain a favorite for so many people.

💬 People Also Ask

What is a good Asshole Jokes to share?
A good asshole jokes depends on your audience and the moment. Browse our collection above and pick one that fits your style and situation.
Are Asshole Jokes safe for all ages?
Most asshole jokes in our collection are suitable for general audiences. We clearly label any content meant for adults, so you can browse with confidence.
When is the best time to tell Asshole Jokes?
asshole jokes work well in almost any social setting. Use them to break the ice at a party, lighten the mood at work, or add fun to a casual conversation.
How do I copy and share Asshole Jokes?
Every joke on this page has a Copy button. Click it once and the full joke is copied to your clipboard. You can then paste it into messages, emails, or social media posts instantly.
Are new Asshole Jokes added regularly?
Yes, we refresh our collection with new asshole jokes on a regular basis. Bookmark this page and come back often to discover fresh laughs.
Can I find Asshole Jokes for a specific occasion?
Absolutely. Our collection covers many themes and occasions. Browse the related topics section on this page to find jokes tailored to birthdays, holidays, work events, and more.

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