What Are Criminal Jokes?
Criminal Jokes are a fun way to bring laughter to any moment. Whether you need something to share with friends, break the ice at a gathering, or simply enjoy a good laugh, our collection of criminal jokes is here for you. Browse through the jokes below and find the ones that make you smile.
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#1
[1st day as criminal sketch artist] Victim: He was blonde had blue eyes, he was about 6ft t....
Me: I'm gonna need a longer sheet of paper
#2
Did you hear about the shipment of Viagra that was stolen?
Police are looking for a gang of hardened criminals.
#3
vote up cause im a criminal the rules for starting a thread im quoting "Beginning
your title with "vote up if" is violation of intergalactic law."
#4
[two hours into describing a criminal to a police sketch artist] ...But
when he took off the mask, he just looked like a normal guy
#5
My Bill Cosby impression use to get me laughs at the bar...
...but now when I do it, I end up with a criminal record.
#6
My friend once said, "If I wasn't making cocktails,
I'd be a criminal." Now he's behind bars.
#7
Newsflash: Two criminals have escaped from prison today.
One is orange and 9ft tall and the other green and yellow and 2ft Gin tall. The police are searching high and low for them.
#8
If I were a superhero, I'd be Pizza Man.
My one-liners would be cheesy, and I'd save you in 30 min or less, or your next criminal is free.
#9
[Robbery] Sloth Man: I'll use my powers to make the criminals fall asleep.
*Runs to bank* *Reaches bank 18 hrs later* SM: How'd they escape?
#10
What diploma do criminals get?
The third degree.
#11
[describing criminal to sketch artist] No, he could speak more languages than that.
He had racist shoulders. His front teeth were impatient.
#12
What do you call it when a criminal goes down an elevator?
A con descending.
#13
In 2016 Scott Baio has called Hillary Clinton a cunt, Chris Christie has called her a criminal and Ben Carson has called her a Lucifer worshiper.
What will they call her in 2017? Madam President.
#14
Just found a $5 bill in the dryer.
-Adds money laundering to criminal resume.
#15
Me: Mistakes my own hair for a spider at least once a day & screams
Also me: [watching Criminal Minds] I could totally be a cop
#16
Everyone knows you can tell a criminal is lying if his lips are moving, but how do you know when a cop is lying?
His pen is moving.
#17
What do you call a pretentious criminal going down a flight of stairs?
A condescending condescending
#18
COP: drop the gun CRIMINAL: no COP: [flipping through police handbook,
whispers to partner] it doesnt say what to do if he says no
#19
Look out, ladies!
Chris Brown is officially single! (Seriously. Look out. The guy's like a violent criminal).
#20
What do you call a Serbian national hero?
a war criminal
Why People Enjoy Criminal Jokes
Everyone enjoys a good laugh, and criminal jokes deliver exactly that. They are easy to remember, fun to share, and work in almost any setting. Whether you are at a party, at work, or chatting online, a well-timed joke from this category always gets a great reaction.
Another reason people love criminal jokes is their simplicity. You do not need a long setup or a complicated punchline. A short, clever joke is often all it takes to turn an ordinary moment into a memorable one. That is why these jokes remain a favorite for so many people.
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