What Are Keep Jokes?
Keep Jokes are a fun way to bring laughter to any moment. Whether you need something to share with friends, break the ice at a gathering, or simply enjoy a good laugh, our collection of keep jokes is here for you. Browse through the jokes below and find the ones that make you smile.
Every joke on this page is free to read and easy to share. Click the copy button on any joke to copy it instantly to your clipboard. Paste it into a message, post, or conversation and spread the laughter.
#1
Teacher: Why are you pushing garlic into the computer's disk drive?
Pupil: To keep vampires off the Internet Teacher: But there aren't any vampires on the Internet Pupil: See? It works doesn't it?
#2
A gentleman goes into a doctor's office...
...and says, "Doctor, Doctor, I keep forgetting things!" The doctor responds, "When did this start?" and the gentleman replies, "When did what start?"
#3
I'm stuck in a meeting where a guy keeps saying "utilize" and "leverage"
and I'm wondering if I should tell him about the word "use".
#4
[Mother's Day text to my wife] Don't let the kids know I sent this
but do you know where we keep the powdered sugar and band-aids?
#5
HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR, It's the year of the snake !!!
I'm still keep accidentally writing Dragon on all my checks.
#6
My daughter got her dress caught in the escalator and I had
to keep walking so people wouldn't think she was with me.
#7
Where does a general keep his armies?
In his sleevies
#8
If my teachers don't become Ms.
Frizzle anytime soon, I will just keep not paying attention.
#9
That awkward moment where your baby comes out black, and you don't
want to keep it, but you have to because you're black too...
#10
I sent an Adele album to a guy who bought it on eBay, anyway his payment cancelled and I'm out of pocket ....
Should I just give up or should I keep on chasing payments
#11
If you believe in the end of the world tomorrow...
I'm going to keep making end of the world jokes like there's no tomorrow
#12
The best vacation?
Close your eyes and throw a dart at a map. Where did it land? Doesn't matter. Just keep your eyes closed and go to sleep.
#13
My girlfriend accused me of sleeping with her sister and I was like,
"How can that be possible when her snoring keeps me up all night?"
#14
What sounds like a frog but keeps me up all night?
reddit
#15
Everybody keeps downvoting my racist jokes It's like a load
of black people have suddenly gotten laptops or something.
#16
Smiling gives you wrinkles.
Resting bitch face keeps you pretty.
#17
What happens if you don't keep up payments to your exorcist?
You get repossessed.
#18
I keep getting calls telling me that I have outstanding bills...
...and while I appreciate the compliment, they're really nothing special.
#19
Does your brother keep himself clean?
Oh yes. He takes a bath every month whether he needs one or not.
#20
Keep your friends close, your enemies closer, your pets in tupperware,
your grandad in a crockpot and your mother in law in a ziplock bag.
Why People Enjoy Keep Jokes
Everyone enjoys a good laugh, and keep jokes deliver exactly that. They are easy to remember, fun to share, and work in almost any setting. Whether you are at a party, at work, or chatting online, a well-timed joke from this category always gets a great reaction.
Another reason people love keep jokes is their simplicity. You do not need a long setup or a complicated punchline. A short, clever joke is often all it takes to turn an ordinary moment into a memorable one. That is why these jokes remain a favorite for so many people.
Discover More Keep Jokes
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