What Are Martini Jokes?
Martini Jokes are a fun way to bring laughter to any moment. Whether you need something to share with friends, break the ice at a gathering, or simply enjoy a good laugh, our collection of martini jokes is here for you. Browse through the jokes below and find the ones that make you smile.
Every joke on this page is free to read and easy to share. Click the copy button on any joke to copy it instantly to your clipboard. Paste it into a message, post, or conversation and spread the laughter.
#1
A roman walks into a bar A Roman walks into a bar and asks for a martinus The bartender asks "don't
you mean a martini?" The Roman replies "If I wanted a double, I would have asked for it!"
#2
'Bout to get white girl wasted (drink 3 dirty martini's, squeal
about loving everyone, eat chicken fingers & vomit).
#3
A Roman walks into a bar and asks for a martinus..
"You mean a martini?" the bartender asks. The Roman replies, "If I wanted a double, I would have asked for it!"
#4
Teach a man to fish & you have fed him for a lifetime.
Teach your kid to make a good martini & you won't give a crap about fish or men.
#5
A giraffe walks into a bar, he sits and orders 6 martinis........
Shame on you for wanting a punchline. This giraffe needs help.
#6
Harambe went to a bar Bartender: What can I get you today?
Harambe: May I get a martini? Me: Just ice for Harambe. Harambe: Just ice? Me: Justice for Harambe.
#7
My Favorite Limerick There once was a fellow McSweeney Who put some gin on his
weenie Just to be couth He added vermouth And slipped his girlfriend a martini
#8
Two Charles Dickens bar drinks Charles Dickens Martini- olive
or twist Charles Dickens Cider- usually a little tart
#9
me: can I buy you a drink?
girl: sorry [holds up martini] already got one me: [spits in it] How about now?
#10
What's Chris Martin's favorite drink?
Apple Martini
#11
A Roman walks into a bar an orders a martinus.
"You mean a martini?" asks the bartender. The Roman replies, "If I wanted more than one I would have said martini"
#12
A giraffe walks into a bar, orders 6 martinis ...and shame on you for wanting a punchline.
This giraffe needs help.
#13
James Bond walks into a bar...
James Bond walks into a bar. Michael J. Fox is the bartender. James Bond says "I'll have a martini." He does not need to specify.
#14
How does Liam Neeson like his martini?
Taken, not stirred.
#15
Babies and Gin I like my babies like I like my martinis.
Shaken.
#16
What did the bartender ask Charles Dickens when he ordered a martini?
Olive or Twist.
#17
I think "So do you come here often?" is a valid pick-up line.
I don't want a girl who's drinking 7 martinis everyday.
#18
A German walks into a bar and asks for a martini.
The bartender asks, "Dry?" The German replies, "Nein, just one."
#19
Waitress: "Hi, my nam-" Me:
"Vodka martini, please."
#20
How are martinis like breasts?
They are better shaken, not stirred. I usually have one in my hand. One is too few and three are two many.
Why People Enjoy Martini Jokes
Everyone enjoys a good laugh, and martini jokes deliver exactly that. They are easy to remember, fun to share, and work in almost any setting. Whether you are at a party, at work, or chatting online, a well-timed joke from this category always gets a great reaction.
Another reason people love martini jokes is their simplicity. You do not need a long setup or a complicated punchline. A short, clever joke is often all it takes to turn an ordinary moment into a memorable one. That is why these jokes remain a favorite for so many people.
Discover More Martini Jokes
Looking for more laughs? Explore the related topics above or try our random joke generator. With hundreds of categories to choose from, you will never run out of fresh material to share and enjoy.
🎲 Get a Random Joke