My ex and I didn't work out, you could say our stars didn't align I'm a Cancer she was a cunt.
She was anything but a Virgo, and her Pisces smelt like a Taurus.
On the way into work I dropped my doughnut on the sidewalk.
You read about these things, but never think it'll happen to you.
When my kids are bad I take them out to the woodshed and tell
them a bunch of boring stories about the people at my work
It's only 8:30 am and I've managed to work "rock out with your cock out" into a conversation.
This day is already a winner.
"And why do you want to work at the aquarium?" * imagines me with a
mermaid tail swimming in the giant tank after hours* I like fish