After two divorces, I think I've found the key to a successful marriage.
Don't marry a c*nt.
What does marriage have in common with a deck of cards?
In the beginning, you only need two hearts and a diamond. Later on, a club and a spade.
Why did the married man bring a ladder to bed?
To reach new heights in his relationship.
If anti-gays want to stop gay sex...
They should encourage gay marriage.
What do you call a husband who does the dishes?
A rare species.