What Are Lick Jokes?
Lick Jokes are a fun way to bring laughter to any moment. Whether you need something to share with friends, break the ice at a gathering, or simply enjoy a good laugh, our collection of lick jokes is here for you. Browse through the jokes below and find the ones that make you smile.
Every joke on this page is free to read and easy to share. Click the copy button on any joke to copy it instantly to your clipboard. Paste it into a message, post, or conversation and spread the laughter.
#1
Double standards are not fair!
When miley cirus gets naked and licks hammers its beautiful and artistic, but when I do it its weird, creepy and I get a life time ban from Ikea.
#2
When I was a kid, I asked my mom if I could lick the beater.
"Don't be stupid," she said, "your father's not home."
#3
Someone wrote "retard" on my car window.
Took me ages to lick it off
#4
A cowboy walks into a gay bar...
He tells the bartender "I'm so thirsty I could lick the sweat off a cow's balls." The bartender replies "well, moo moo buckaroo."
#5
Two homeless guys are watching a dog lick it's nuts...
... One says to the other "I wish I could do that" The other scoffs and replies "you'd wanna ask him first"
#6
If you open a door for me, I will lick you.
Sometimes it's awkward.
#7
What does going down on an old woman and a pork pie have in common?
You have to bite the crust and lick out the jelly before you get the meaty bit.
#8
What did Bill Clinton say to Monica Lewinsky after getting caught?
"I told you to lick my erection, not wreck my election".
#9
When Miley Cyrus is naked and licks a hammer it's "art" and "music" ,
but when I do it I'm "wasted" and "have to leave the Hardware Store"
#10
What do you call drunken cunnilingus?
Lick'er.
#11
Why does a dog?
Why does a dog lick its butt? To get the taste of dog food out of its mouth.
#12
What does a nine volt battery and an asshole have in common?
The look on your face when you lick it
#13
Can you lmb?
person 2: what? lace my boots 2: ok I guess I can so you can lmb? 2: yeah I can lmb wait, you want to lick my balls??? wtf
#14
My next girlfriend I am going to train like my dog.
She will be loyal, obedient, and lick herself.
#15
Did you hear about the dog that's become the first to officially own pieces of art?
He's the first dog to be able to lick his own Pollocks
#16
I swear to holy hell, Aunt Pat, I would rather lick a midget's
taint than accept your invitation to play Lucky Slots.
#17
Jack and Jill went up the hill so Jack could lick her candy.
Jack got a shock, with a mouth full of cock, to find out Jill's real name was Randy.
#18
My diet plan is just watching my 400 pound coworker lick her
lips and sweat as she describes her dinner from last night.
#19
Just saw a fat woman lick icing off of her sleeve so
that is the last time I eat in front of a mirror.
#20
Cannibals clowning around Two cannibals are eating a clown.
One of them stops, licks his lips and says "does this taste funny to you"
Why People Enjoy Lick Jokes
Everyone enjoys a good laugh, and lick jokes deliver exactly that. They are easy to remember, fun to share, and work in almost any setting. Whether you are at a party, at work, or chatting online, a well-timed joke from this category always gets a great reaction.
Another reason people love lick jokes is their simplicity. You do not need a long setup or a complicated punchline. A short, clever joke is often all it takes to turn an ordinary moment into a memorable one. That is why these jokes remain a favorite for so many people.
Discover More Lick Jokes
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