What Are Matter Jokes?
Matter Jokes are a fun way to bring laughter to any moment. Whether you need something to share with friends, break the ice at a gathering, or simply enjoy a good laugh, our collection of matter jokes is here for you. Browse through the jokes below and find the ones that make you smile.
Every joke on this page is free to read and easy to share. Click the copy button on any joke to copy it instantly to your clipboard. Paste it into a message, post, or conversation and spread the laughter.
#1
Q: Do you know why the new football stadium they built in Warsaw could not be used?
A: No matter where you sat you were behind a Pole.
#2
Does size matter?
Some women say size doesn't matter. Some even say that they prefer smaller ones. I think that they're just shallow.
#3
Judging by how all of these ladies tweet about cucumbers I'm pretty sure
size does matter because I never see them tweeting about carrots :(
#4
What did the nihilist say to the physicist?
Nevermind, it doesn't really matter.
#5
There's always an Obama in relationships.
The one that has to compromise, doesn't really get much credit, and never wins, no matter what.
#6
No matter how hard you push the envelope it's still stationary.
thanks dad!
#7
Guys, it is true.
Size DOES matter. When have you ever been satisfied after she brings you a small sandwich?
#8
What do you call a dog with no legs?
...it doesn't matter, he isn't going to come anyways.
#9
Have you heard of the object without mass?
It doesn't matter
#10
Autocorrect, no matter how many times I tell
you, I don't want anyone's duck in my can't.
#11
No matter how powerless you feel, just think to yourself, one single
pubic hair off of your body can shut down an entire restaurant.
#12
People with dysgraphia (inability to spell) also tend to answer arithmetical problems in an unpredictable, seemingly random matter.
According to them, you can't spell "calculation" without "luck".
#13
I've always taught my children that no matter what race
or religion, all good looking people deserve respect.
#14
Can I borrow that book of yours How To Become A Millionaire?
Sure. Here you are. Thanks - but half the pages are missing. What's the matter? Isn't half a million enough for you?
#15
Reddit: I'm looking for some offensive jokes, lets hear em!
It doesn't matter if you or I are offended, only that SOMEONE is offended.
#16
What do you call a dog with no legs?
It doesn't matter, he's not coming.
#17
This year's presidential election is like 69ing someone...
...no matter who comes out on top, you'll be looking at an asshole.
#18
Last month, I asked my dad if I could get a tattoo.
He told me to get it somewhere that didn't matter, so I got it done in Oklahoma.
#19
You matter Unless you multiply yourself by the speed of light squared.
Then you energy.
#20
If you like airborne fecal matter
you'll love being alive on earth
Why People Enjoy Matter Jokes
Everyone enjoys a good laugh, and matter jokes deliver exactly that. They are easy to remember, fun to share, and work in almost any setting. Whether you are at a party, at work, or chatting online, a well-timed joke from this category always gets a great reaction.
Another reason people love matter jokes is their simplicity. You do not need a long setup or a complicated punchline. A short, clever joke is often all it takes to turn an ordinary moment into a memorable one. That is why these jokes remain a favorite for so many people.
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