What Are Portion Jokes?
Portion Jokes are a fun way to bring laughter to any moment. Whether you need something to share with friends, break the ice at a gathering, or simply enjoy a good laugh, our collection of portion jokes is here for you. Browse through the jokes below and find the ones that make you smile.
Every joke on this page is free to read and easy to share. Click the copy button on any joke to copy it instantly to your clipboard. Paste it into a message, post, or conversation and spread the laughter.
#1
The swimsuit portion of the presidential
election is going to suck.
#2
Guys, I'm eating for two!
I'm not pregnant, I just have a problem with portion control.
#3
What do you call it when a doctor gives up halfway through an abortion?
A portion.
#4
Negative Million Dollar Idea: devote a large portion of your 20s
and 30s in pursuit of vague creative oriented career ambitions.
#5
It appears that Jared Fogle has gain 30lbs since going to jail
I guess that's what happens when you stop the child portions
#6
If an Astronaut Vomits in L.E.O.
If an Astronaut vomits in L.E.O., what do you call the portion of the vomit closest to the Earth? The Ralph Nadir
#7
If every person in the world held hands around the
equator a significant portion of them would drown.
#8
If you have ever used one of those Hand Dryers in a bathroom,
congratulations...you just did a portion of the Macarena.....
#9
Diner: Waitress the portions are getting smaller.
Waiter: It's just an optical illusion. It's just that the restaurant has been enlarged.
#10
I don't understand why some snacks are "fun-sized", there's really
nothing "fun" about having a smaller portion of food.
#11
There's no human I hate more than the attendant in the bathroom at bars.
Bro, I can handle this portion of my day ASSISTANCE FREE.
#12
Did you hear they removed the essay portion from the SAT?
Now it's just called the T
#13
If the Zombie Apocolypse doesn't start out like the dance
portion of the Thriller video I'm going to be so pissed.
#14
The only thing I want to "portion control"
is my time spent at work.
#15
Have you ever eaten at that Ethiopian restraunt?
There portions are like..nothing.
#16
My hair is 100% organic, but it has been tested on animals.
Portions may have been used to drape over cats' heads to make little wigs.
#17
Time zones are crazy On new years eve some parts of the world are in 2017, some are in 2016, and a large portion of the U.S.
is still stuck in 1940.
#18
Leaving a watermelon on someone's doorstep in the middle of night is
a pretty inexpensive way to occupy a portion of their mind forever.
#19
I spent a good portion of today sitting in a Snuggie watching Cops.
Eventually, they told me to go home and put on pants.
#20
Being a parent is the opposite of the Jenny Craig diet.
"I gained 20lbs & all I did was eat small portions of my toddlers leftover dinner."
Why People Enjoy Portion Jokes
Everyone enjoys a good laugh, and portion jokes deliver exactly that. They are easy to remember, fun to share, and work in almost any setting. Whether you are at a party, at work, or chatting online, a well-timed joke from this category always gets a great reaction.
Another reason people love portion jokes is their simplicity. You do not need a long setup or a complicated punchline. A short, clever joke is often all it takes to turn an ordinary moment into a memorable one. That is why these jokes remain a favorite for so many people.
Discover More Portion Jokes
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