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Today Jokes

1,000 jokes · Page 1 of 50

Jokes / Today Jokes

What Are Today Jokes?

Today Jokes are a fun way to bring laughter to any moment. Whether you need something to share with friends, break the ice at a gathering, or simply enjoy a good laugh, our collection of today jokes is here for you. Browse through the jokes below and find the ones that make you smile.

Every joke on this page is free to read and easy to share. Click the copy button on any joke to copy it instantly to your clipboard. Paste it into a message, post, or conversation and spread the laughter.

#1
My best friend swore up and down that he would stop taking credit for my accomplishments.
Then today he called me to brag that he got his wife pregnant.
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#2
I saw my brother kiss my uncle today.
I'm starting to think he's relatively gay.
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#3
1.
Put on red T-shirt. 2. Remember that I need to go to Target today. 3. Take off red T-shirt.
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#4
My friend learned today that his effeminate kid's favourite song comes from Annie.
I'm not sure, but if I had to guess, The Son'll Come Out Tomorrow.
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#5
I just read an article on the dangers of alcohol and it scared the shit out of me So that's it.
I'm done. No more reading after today
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#6
Pamela Anderson turns 43 today but her tits are
barely old enough to buy a drink in this city.
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#7
Saw an ISIS poster yesterday It read "Sign up for ISIS today!
Receive free jacket and blowjob!"
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#8
I feel quite light today.
Pounds aren't what they used to be.
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#9
President Obama had lunch today with Hillary Clinton.
Hillary told the president, "After phoning my top advisers, I think I'll run for office." And the president said, "I know. I listened in."
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#10
A man tried to sell me a coffin today I told
him that was the last thing I needed.
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#11
I was completely shocked today when my doctor told me I was colour blind..
It came completely out of the green
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#12
Sharp and short!
**Husband** : I love you! **Wife** : Not today!
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#13
I just asked my husband if he remembers what today is...
Scaring men is easy.
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#14
I stopped a kidnapping today..
I woke him up
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#15
5,"So we don't get to open any presents today?" Me, "No." 5, "So
basically Thanksgiving is just Christmas for your tummy, right?"
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#16
Today I realised I really want to tie the knot with the missus.
Anyone know where I can find instructions for noose tying?
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#17
Today I'm cancer free!
And all the days before that, but it still counts.
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#18
My Asian friend came out ..
My Asian friend came out to his dad today and said "Dad I'm gay" . His dad after being angry for a moment said, "why not Gay+"
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#19
"Good thing I guessed that today was probably a BYOB situation."
-me, chaperoning the kindergarten field trip
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#20
Have you heard that all the buses and trains are stopping today?
No. Is there a strike? No they're stopping to let the passengers off.
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❓ Frequently Asked Questions

What are the best Today Jokes?
Our collection features 1,000 Today Jokes. Browse the list above and find the ones that make you laugh the most.
Are Today Jokes suitable for everyone?
Most Today Jokes on our site are appropriate for general audiences. We clearly label any content meant for adults, so you can browse safely.
Can I copy and share Today Jokes?
Yes! Every joke has a Copy button. Click it once and the full joke is copied to your clipboard. You can then paste it anywhere you like.
How many Today Jokes are available?
We currently have 1,000 Today Jokes in our collection. We add new ones regularly, so check back often.
Why do people enjoy Today Jokes?
Today Jokes are loved because they are easy to remember, fun to share, and work well in almost any social setting.

Why People Enjoy Today Jokes

Everyone enjoys a good laugh, and today jokes deliver exactly that. They are easy to remember, fun to share, and work in almost any setting. Whether you are at a party, at work, or chatting online, a well-timed joke from this category always gets a great reaction.

Another reason people love today jokes is their simplicity. You do not need a long setup or a complicated punchline. A short, clever joke is often all it takes to turn an ordinary moment into a memorable one. That is why these jokes remain a favorite for so many people.

💬 People Also Ask

What is a good Today Jokes to share?
A good today jokes depends on your audience and the moment. Browse our collection above and pick one that fits your style and situation.
Are Today Jokes safe for all ages?
Most today jokes in our collection are suitable for general audiences. We clearly label any content meant for adults, so you can browse with confidence.
When is the best time to tell Today Jokes?
today jokes work well in almost any social setting. Use them to break the ice at a party, lighten the mood at work, or add fun to a casual conversation.
How do I copy and share Today Jokes?
Every joke on this page has a Copy button. Click it once and the full joke is copied to your clipboard. You can then paste it into messages, emails, or social media posts instantly.
Are new Today Jokes added regularly?
Yes, we refresh our collection with new today jokes on a regular basis. Bookmark this page and come back often to discover fresh laughs.
Can I find Today Jokes for a specific occasion?
Absolutely. Our collection covers many themes and occasions. Browse the related topics section on this page to find jokes tailored to birthdays, holidays, work events, and more.

Tips for Sharing Today Jokes

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