What Are Near Jokes?
Near Jokes are a fun way to bring laughter to any moment. Whether you need something to share with friends, break the ice at a gathering, or simply enjoy a good laugh, our collection of near jokes is here for you. Browse through the jokes below and find the ones that make you smile.
Every joke on this page is free to read and easy to share. Click the copy button on any joke to copy it instantly to your clipboard. Paste it into a message, post, or conversation and spread the laughter.
#1
What mammal dies after it mates?
Anyone that goes near my wife!
#2
What do a puppy and a near sighted gynecologist have in common?
A wet nose.
#3
Me: do you love me?
Siri: I'm only your assistance. Me: if you don't, I will jump off a bridge. Siri:there are two bridges near you.
#4
A fava bean was playing near a meat grinder Then his mother came and said, "Stop that!
You're making a foule out of yourself!"
#5
ACTORS: It's easy to appear blind.
Look near but never at someone when you talk to them, and if anyone says "Did you see that?" say "Nope".
#6
Pardon my french, other day a redditor corrected me and told me Snickering and Sniggering are almost the same word and mean near the same thing.
so Knickers and... sneakers are the same also?
#7
Why did the blonde tip-toe near the medicine cabinet?
Because she didn't want to wake the sleeping pills.
#8
What's the only difference between a near sighted and a far sighted gynecologist ?
A wet nose.
#9
Hendrix didn't need to twerk on stage.
He performed the old fashioned way, relying only on his musical talents and near lethal doses of LSD.
#10
Confucius say...
...sex on beach is like American beer, very near water.
#11
[Safari] "Remember, when you're near water beware of wild hippos." Don't worry, I'm prepared for that.
*shows handful of white marbles*
#12
Pay me a complement.
Wife: I look like a fat, ugly, wrinkly, pig, be a dear and pay me a complement Husband: Your eyesight's damn near perfect. Edit:Format
#13
If by "social butterfly" you mean I will take
off when you come near me, then yep.
#14
Why do gay men always have candles near their asses?
So the gerbils can find their way out.
#15
I had a near-life experience...I
nearly quit Facebook.
#16
A guy kept telling his girlfriend not to turn her head away near the end of a blow job......
Did she listen ? Nope..... it went in one ear and out the other
#17
Silly Billy went in a library and said, " I would like to have a pizza." Librarian - " Sir,
this is a library." Billy goes near his ear and whispers - " I would like to have a pizza."
#18
When the machines rise up against us humans, I really hope ...
...I really hope I'm nowhere near a dildo factory...
#19
Boys are cute how they're all "I like girls that don't wear heavy makeup"
and "get down from that tree near my window or I'll call the cops"
#20
We often criticize pedophiles...
but they, at least, drive slowly near schools.
Why People Enjoy Near Jokes
Everyone enjoys a good laugh, and near jokes deliver exactly that. They are easy to remember, fun to share, and work in almost any setting. Whether you are at a party, at work, or chatting online, a well-timed joke from this category always gets a great reaction.
Another reason people love near jokes is their simplicity. You do not need a long setup or a complicated punchline. A short, clever joke is often all it takes to turn an ordinary moment into a memorable one. That is why these jokes remain a favorite for so many people.
Discover More Near Jokes
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