What Are Nursing Jokes?
Nursing Jokes are a fun way to bring laughter to any moment. Whether you need something to share with friends, break the ice at a gathering, or simply enjoy a good laugh, our collection of nursing jokes is here for you. Browse through the jokes below and find the ones that make you smile.
Every joke on this page is free to read and easy to share. Click the copy button on any joke to copy it instantly to your clipboard. Paste it into a message, post, or conversation and spread the laughter.
#1
Sometimes passing by a nursing home is the only reminder
I need to go buy my kids whatever they want.
#2
Best response by a nursing home patient ever.
I asked my patient, "how ya feelin today"? He whispers while still half asleep, "with my fingers."
#3
What did the grapes say to their parents after they put them into a nursing home?
Thanks for raisin us
#4
what did the infant cannibal think of the premature section
of the nursing ward it was a preemie-yum buffet
#5
Direct from my 8-year old: How do nursing babies blow their noses?
With breast tissue.
#6
What's the most popular game at a nursing home?
Guess who
#7
I donate money to single mothers going to nursing school...
One dollar at a time.
#8
Did you hear about Nursing Home Sports League Everyone
gets atrophy at the end of the season.
#9
What do you call a nursing home with a buffet?
A Golden Corral.
#10
You never get a second chance to make a first impression.
Unless you work in the alzheimer's wing of a nursing home, then you get lots.
#11
Obviously we have our own shitty lives to worry about now but it would
be fun to all move into a Twitter nursing home in 50 years.
#12
I just got fired, because my boss caught me masturbating with a vegetable Apparently,
nursing homes have "strict rules" around what you can do with the patients.
#13
Where can you find some of the world's largest vegetables?
In an American nursing home.
#14
[terrible nursing home] Old guy: How did you end up here?
Elderly me: I made my kids steak instead of hot dogs. Him: *gasps* You monster.
#15
"Out with the dead, in with
the old." - Nursing homes
#16
Exercise can add years to your life.
This enables you, at 95 years, to spend an additional five months in a nursing home at $7,000 a month.
#17
A woman calls the nursing home to see how her father is doing...
'He's like a fish out of water.' 'You mean he's having trouble adjusting?' 'No, I mean he's dead.' -Mike Close-
#18
How many nurses does it take to change a light bulb?
None they just have a nursing assistant do it. As much as the doctor orders.
#19
I'm not afraid of dying.
I'm afraid of ending up in a nursing home with a roommate who has Justin Bieber posters and Twilight shirts.
#20
I was at a bar last night nursing a beer But I stopped
after an hour because my nipple was getting too soggy
Why People Enjoy Nursing Jokes
Everyone enjoys a good laugh, and nursing jokes deliver exactly that. They are easy to remember, fun to share, and work in almost any setting. Whether you are at a party, at work, or chatting online, a well-timed joke from this category always gets a great reaction.
Another reason people love nursing jokes is their simplicity. You do not need a long setup or a complicated punchline. A short, clever joke is often all it takes to turn an ordinary moment into a memorable one. That is why these jokes remain a favorite for so many people.
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