What Are Press Jokes?
Press Jokes are a fun way to bring laughter to any moment. Whether you need something to share with friends, break the ice at a gathering, or simply enjoy a good laugh, our collection of press jokes is here for you. Browse through the jokes below and find the ones that make you smile.
Every joke on this page is free to read and easy to share. Click the copy button on any joke to copy it instantly to your clipboard. Paste it into a message, post, or conversation and spread the laughter.
#1
If the doorbell rings, its normal to drop, shimmy across the floor, press
your body to the wall & not breath till the person is gone, right?
#2
You know the 'Done' button you press to exit a video?
How come it only sounds judgy and sarcastic after I've finished jacking off?
#3
In an alternate universe, the President...
is given an attache and told not to press the button inside beyond the most dire circumstances. Instructions nuclear.
#4
The new Trump Administration is re-doing the voice mail prompts at the White House...
Thank you for calling the White House. For English, press 1. <silence>
#5
There's been a toothpaste scandal.
The press have called it Col-Gate.
#6
Bruce Jenner just said in his press conference that he is moving to London.
When asked why, he said... ...he has always wanted to live abroad.
#7
Why can't the hydraulic press guy bring himself to crush a can of sprite?
Because it's soda pressing
#8
And then I was all: "I'm really getting sick of your shit, bitch." And
then she was all: "To speak with a representative please press 7."
#9
I wish I could be like my cable company's customer service line and
make people press 37 different numbers before they can talk to me.
#10
Having kids is like being at a press conference: "No, you can't put the
dog in the washer - next question." "No, you can't really fly -next"
#11
For some mysterious reason, whenever I use a keyboard I always press the wrong keys.
I just can't put finger on it.
#12
According to North Korean press, Kim Jong Il has entered a sleeping contest.
Ta-da!
#13
Politics is like a car you press "D"
to go forward and "R" to go back
#14
My son just announced "I like snacks."
I'm off to draft a press release.
#15
Press Conference: How do you respond to accusations that you over sexualize everything?
Me: *slowly takes entire microphone into mouth*
#16
This morning I was beaten by a woman in an elevator.
I was staring at her boobs when she said, "Would you please press one?" I don't remember much after that.
#17
Danke for calling Germany.
To order beer, press 1. To order weapons, press 2. To order philosophy, press 1 until it resembles a 2.
#18
Don't iron your four leaf clovers You
don't want to press your luck.
#19
When I get in an elevator, before I press a button I look at everyone inside and say...
"Are you ready to take this shit to a whole new level?!"
#20
Did you hear about the guy who crushes Pepsi cans with a hydraulic press?
It's sodapressing.
Why People Enjoy Press Jokes
Everyone enjoys a good laugh, and press jokes deliver exactly that. They are easy to remember, fun to share, and work in almost any setting. Whether you are at a party, at work, or chatting online, a well-timed joke from this category always gets a great reaction.
Another reason people love press jokes is their simplicity. You do not need a long setup or a complicated punchline. A short, clever joke is often all it takes to turn an ordinary moment into a memorable one. That is why these jokes remain a favorite for so many people.
Discover More Press Jokes
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