What Are Raises Jokes?
Raises Jokes are a fun way to bring laughter to any moment. Whether you need something to share with friends, break the ice at a gathering, or simply enjoy a good laugh, our collection of raises jokes is here for you. Browse through the jokes below and find the ones that make you smile.
Every joke on this page is free to read and easy to share. Click the copy button on any joke to copy it instantly to your clipboard. Paste it into a message, post, or conversation and spread the laughter.
#1
Teacher: remember class, there are no stupid questions Me: *raises
hand* Teacher: i just said, no stupid questions Me: *lowers hand*
#2
When I was growing up plastic surgery was a bit of a taboo subject...
These days if you mention Botox no one raises an eyebrow.
#3
*raises hand in class* can you repeat that,
I haven't been paying attention all year
#4
God: Noah, I need an ark.
Noah: Why don't you ask Joseph, the carpenter? God: Uh [huge grin] cos I'm banging his wife? [raises hand] up top?
#5
Oh LinkedIn, what juicy tidbits do you have for me today?
*raises monocle* Stanley added a skill?! HAHA! That is most delightful! *sips tea*
#6
[Dr.] "Your blood is 40% cheese, if you eat ANY more you'll die" *slowly
raises piece of cheese to mouth* "Don't do it" *eats cheese* *dies*
#7
A tearful Ray Romano raises the gun to his temple.
'not everybody' he whispers 'not everybody'
#8
[raises hand in English class] Why do we need to be learned English?
"Hmm.. Couldn't have worded that better myself, Luke"
#9
[raises hand in ethics class] So if I see a baby outside
at night and nobody's around, is that, like, my problem?
#10
If a farmer raises wheat in dry weather what does he raise in wet weather?
An umbrella.
#11
me: [raises hand] my date: again,
that's not necessary
#12
So it's the first day of shop class...
The teacher asks, "What's the difference between a nail, a screw, and a bolt?" A girl raises her hand and says, "I don't know. I've never been bolted before."
#13
[Obamacare Meeting] *Biden raises hand* *Obama sighs* Yes Joe?
Will the doctor still have lollipops? Sure. *Entire Congress sighs w/ relief*
#14
[funeral] He looks so natural.
Ya, but he looks a little stiff. *raises from the dead* "That's what... *gargle* ...she said." *dies again*
#15
[staff meeting] PRINCIPAL: ok guys, we built a room to hold our P.E.
class. what should we name it? [Jim slowly raises his hand]
#16
[Auto-shop class] "Cody, for the last time, it's still a carburetor
even when it's in a van" *raises hand* "Or a truck" *lowers hand*
#17
My wife turns over and accidentally kicks me in the nuts.
I gasp. She gasps. Then she raises her arms and yells, "I WIN! I WIN!"
#18
Wife: There's a spider in the kids' bedroom Me: I'll take care of it *raises
spider like one of my own* *has a little cry when it graduates*
#19
[White House] Any ideas on how to defeat ISIS?
*Biden excitedly raises hand* Besides assembling the Avengers. *Biden dejectedly lowers hand*
#20
* Kindergarten* Hi kids!
I'm the homeroom mom for your class. [writes name on chalkboard] [Boy Raises hand] We can't read. No one can read
Why People Enjoy Raises Jokes
Everyone enjoys a good laugh, and raises jokes deliver exactly that. They are easy to remember, fun to share, and work in almost any setting. Whether you are at a party, at work, or chatting online, a well-timed joke from this category always gets a great reaction.
Another reason people love raises jokes is their simplicity. You do not need a long setup or a complicated punchline. A short, clever joke is often all it takes to turn an ordinary moment into a memorable one. That is why these jokes remain a favorite for so many people.
Discover More Raises Jokes
Looking for more laughs? Explore the related topics above or try our random joke generator. With hundreds of categories to choose from, you will never run out of fresh material to share and enjoy.
🎲 Get a Random Joke