What Are Settle Jokes?
Settle Jokes are a fun way to bring laughter to any moment. Whether you need something to share with friends, break the ice at a gathering, or simply enjoy a good laugh, our collection of settle jokes is here for you. Browse through the jokes below and find the ones that make you smile.
Every joke on this page is free to read and easy to share. Click the copy button on any joke to copy it instantly to your clipboard. Paste it into a message, post, or conversation and spread the laughter.
#1
Listen lady, you have 2 options.
Either make your baby stop eyeballing me, or she & I can go outside to settle this.
#2
if you want a woman to settle
down with you be a cat
#3
Kim Kardashian settles lawsuit with Old Navy over stealing her likeness;
also settles with The Gap over stealing her nickname.
#4
Why do Americans hate sunlight?
Because it's yellow and settles on their land too. And it melts snow.
#5
The bravest thing you can do is change & the weakest is to settle for comfort.
But, seriously, that remote is really far from the couch.
#6
settle down twitter crush.
i didn't ask your last name to google you. i wanted to see how it sounded with the names i've picked for our kids
#7
One of my students told me he was drinking formic acid to settle his indigestion.
After all, I suppose it is an *ant* acid.
#8
Maybe the Pope just wants to finally get married.
Or settle down with a couple of kids.
#9
Me, hold a grudge?
Never. I carry a battle axe at all times and settle any nonsense as it happens.
#10
Cop: Know why I pulled u over?
Me: [slams fist on dash] NO, WHY?! Cop: Settle down sir Me: [marries, has kids, gives up ambitions] Cop: ...
#11
Well, the rock star decided to settle down and become a fisherman
His new slogan is, "Come down to Bon Jovi's Anchovies!"
#12
A Boy was born of an Indian, Chinese, Irish, and Italian grandmother....
They couldn't settle on a name, Until it hit them! They named him Ravi O. Lee Sorry
#13
Why do Indians hate snow?
Because it's white and settles on their land. Edit: well now I know what people mean by rip inbox. Edit2: wtf happened to my headline, why is it Donald trump?
#14
My friend's 6-year-old was being obnoxious.
The mature thing to do was to tell him to settle down. I challenged him to a rap battle.
#15
Why do Native Americans hate snow?
Because it's white and settles on their land
#16
I think you can all settle down.
Its unlikely Instagram will ever find buyers for photos of 20 000 feet and a billion sunsets.
#17
Just ordered a chicken and an egg on Amazon I'll be sure to let
you know which one wins so we can settle this once and for all.
#18
Bees!
Beavers! Let's settle this once and for all: WHO'S BUSIER?
#19
So a duck walks into a bar...
He waddles over to a seat and settles in. The bartender says "Hey there, what can I get for you?" And the duck says "I... I don't know. I've never made it this far."
#20
Why was Herbert Hoover such a controversial president?
Because he never let the dust settle.
Why People Enjoy Settle Jokes
Everyone enjoys a good laugh, and settle jokes deliver exactly that. They are easy to remember, fun to share, and work in almost any setting. Whether you are at a party, at work, or chatting online, a well-timed joke from this category always gets a great reaction.
Another reason people love settle jokes is their simplicity. You do not need a long setup or a complicated punchline. A short, clever joke is often all it takes to turn an ordinary moment into a memorable one. That is why these jokes remain a favorite for so many people.
Discover More Settle Jokes
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