What Are Bleeding Jokes?
Bleeding Jokes are a fun way to bring laughter to any moment. Whether you need something to share with friends, break the ice at a gathering, or simply enjoy a good laugh, our collection of bleeding jokes is here for you. Browse through the jokes below and find the ones that make you smile.
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#1
wife: Did you get the cat out of the tree?
me [bleeding] Wasn't a cat
#2
Chuck Norris has sex with every woman once a month.
It causes a week of bleeding
#3
My dentist asked me if I had a problem with my gums bleeding.
You'd have to be really laid back to not have a problem with that.
#4
if i'm bleeding out in an alley & you approach me w/an app that would save
me, but i'd have to login using facebook, i'd be fine w/just dyin
#5
Coworker just asked me if I'm "working hard or hardly working" & now I'm
standing over him asking if he's "bleeding bad or badly bleeding?"
#6
My ear is bleeding because I tried to shave it.
Now I have to create some elaborate lie to tell ppl how I cut my ear.
#7
oh these 2 bleeding dots on my neck?
uhhh no i'm not a vampire, some crazy dude stabbed me with 2 pens. hey can you toss me a bloodweiser ;)
#8
I got into an accident a few days ago.
The doctor said the bleeding was all internal. I said "oh, thank god." The doctor said "why are you so happy?" I said "that's where the blood is supposed to be!"
#9
911: 911.
What's your emergency? Me: I'm bleeding profusely. 911: Sir, this line is reserved for joke formats. Me: ...
#10
"Popping your cherry" is more a female term 4 losing ones virginity.
What can guys call it? How about bleeding white?
#11
Me: *falls off a ladder* Wife: OH MY GOD!
ARE YOU INJURED? Me: *obviously concussed but also bleeding* I'm injured and outjured
#12
Q: How do you know when a liberal is really dead?
A: His heart stops bleeding.
#13
Good news: It works the other way around.
I entered "internal bleeding" & "unconscious" in WebMD and it said I have a stuffy nose. Phew.
#14
"You're bleeding because you don't floss" Me: No, I'm bleeding because
I ate the entire bowl of deceivingly fake fruit in your waiting room.
#15
What eye cannot see, cannot blink and is bleeding?
The browneye. You'll have to guess why its bleeding.
#16
Dear Genitals, Thank you for not bleeding every month.
Sincerely, A Man
#17
When choosing a heart medicine, always pick the one that causes, "significantly
less bleeding." Less bleeding is good for not being dead.
#18
I was bitten by a crow, since then I've had the proportionate strength,
speed, and agility of a guy who is bleeding from the head a bit
#19
[bleeding out] ER Doctor: do you know your blood type?
ME: I've never really thought about it TBH. As long as it has a good personality
#20
1816: a grizzly bear ate my mom as she fetched drinking water.
1916: I'm in a muddy trench, bleeding internally. 2016: IM OFFENDED!
Why People Enjoy Bleeding Jokes
Everyone enjoys a good laugh, and bleeding jokes deliver exactly that. They are easy to remember, fun to share, and work in almost any setting. Whether you are at a party, at work, or chatting online, a well-timed joke from this category always gets a great reaction.
Another reason people love bleeding jokes is their simplicity. You do not need a long setup or a complicated punchline. A short, clever joke is often all it takes to turn an ordinary moment into a memorable one. That is why these jokes remain a favorite for so many people.
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